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Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts
Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Stressed.

I am stressed.
Why are you stressed, Rachel? You might very validly ask.
I am stressed because a) I've had three weeks of holidays and then within two days of being back seem to have run myself into the ground, although I ought to be able to deal.

b) I feel like a fail, because I am a disorganised leader in a disorganised cub group, who don't tell me where they need me to be except in vague notes, and who aren't there when I turn up (late, although I arrived the first time this evening at the hall early... but had to rearrange my plans).

c) Every time I think I have a handle on something, some serious shit goes down.

d) At which point my father takes it upon himself to point out how shit I am at organisation, how I should be working and how I don't really have any right to not be able to deal.

e) I haven't got the balls (or the physical stamina and motivation) to walk over to the town hall and have a face-to-face discussion with Mike about wanting to drop scouts and just do cubs, even though I know doing both is too much for me, and I am knackered. I am going to take the cowards way out and write him an upstanding formal British e-mail relaying my reasons.

f) I wish hibernation was a human deal, and not just for chubby animals.

e) My bedroom is a festering pile of shit. As is every piece of technology I own. I cannot afford anything new at all.

ARGH.

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

SAW...in more ways than one.

It has struck me how much we trust people in doctorly professions.

I have just come back from one of the most physically traumatic experiences of my life: a contact-lens consultation. In the past hour I allowed a complete stranger to assault my eyes with shards of glass which felt like being stabbed in the face. I even allowed him to do this repeatedly, even after it hurt the first time. I also allowed him to dab my eyes with yellow stuff, that was probably iodine, but could just as easily have been bottled piss.

It's a very strange social convention, allowing perfect strangers to do things like this under the assumption that they have training sufficient to do it. You don't walk into a doctors and demand to see their certificates; you don't go demanding credentials from a man in an optician's outfit, no matter how like a Saw movie the scenario winds up. It's completely unnatural, surely, to allow a stranger to do things to you that you wouldn't so much as let your parents think about doing.

And yet we do it every day.
Freaky.

Monday, 20 December 2010

The Laptop Blues (A Ballad.)

Woke up this morning, cheery as can be,
Opened my laptop and it snapped off at me,
Bits of wires and metal and screws,
I need a new laptop 'n' it's giving me the blues.

Hoo, hoo, hoo, the snaptop blues.
Hoo, hoo, hoo, the craptop blues.

Googling on the web, looking through shops,
Tryin' to find out if anywhere sells good laptops,
Not too pricey, or cheap, this is hard to do,
Can't find a good laptop that I can afford, too-hoo-hoo

(The laptop blues)
(The craptop blues)
(It's snapped, boo-hoo)

Got me some money from the kindle I sold,
Maybe now I can get a laptop that's not old,
Huntin' for cash down the side of the bed,
Ain't enough money even to buy some bread.

Ooh-hooo!
The Laptop Blues!
Ooh-hooo!
Gonna try searchin' Yahoo's!

Well it's five days till Christmas, and I'm starting to wish,
I'd not asked for a new HiFi, or a special Poole dish,
Because I need something more in the computery vein,
Don't wanna have a HiFi and need to save up again...

Ooo-hoo!
Dell, Fuck you!
You-Do!
Need to learn to manufacture quality computers!
Ooooooooh!
(la la la)
Oooooooo-oooh!
(la la la)

I's got the laptop, snaptop, shut-your-traptop, absolutely crap-top blues!
(yeah.)

Sunday, 12 December 2010

wisdom comes through initial foolishness

  1. Never get drunk. Just don't do it.
  2. Never even consider drinking Babycham then being given wine.
  3. Never decide to redecorate the steps of your friend's work-place with the contents of your stomach.
  4. Avoid the above, especially when you are expected to be sociable and early-rising the next day. Even more so if you have an absolute deadline for history coursework the day after that, and are going to be forced to stay awake to chop words out of it.
fml.

Wednesday, 10 November 2010

What A Week (Part 1)

So first Leeds turn around and hate on me, then Newcastle want me to answer questions and then Birmingham offer me a place. It's crazy! But really damned exciting.

Not so gutted about Leeds as they were a plain English course, and because the best thing about them, really, was their lecture hall architecture.

Biiiirmingham, Birmingham, how I love thee. But also, a bit freaked out that they've not taken Film Studies into consideration with my offer, so I have to get 3 As THIS year, or they aren't interested.

This offer is subject to you obtaining

GCE A level
Grade A in English Literature
and Grades AA in any 2 of
Art and Design -Fine Art
History
Religious Studies

Definitely doable, but definitely means I am likely to run around in hysterics with multiple nervous breakdowns in the limbo time between exams and results. Scheisse!

Bloody excited, though, because this means I have two viable places - a proper and a back-up. Thank sweet Mary Jesus and Joseph (and their donkey).

Also, first impression time being a Scout Leader Proper in the village troop tonight. A little bit anxious, but I'm sure it will be fine, providing I don't start swearing among the little kiddies. :D

I have decided to force a massive confidence boost from now through my 18th year on Earth, by forcing myself into situations I would usually crap myself at, and dealing with it.

That is all,
Tata,
Rachel