REASONS I SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED A HOLIDAY: Part the First

Hello blogosphere! I've not even thought about blogging for ages, but now exams are over and done with, I have plenty of time to ramble at the world at large about my going's on. As such, I present the first in (probably a worryingly long) series of blogs dedicated to things I waste my holiday time on.

Today (and the inspiration for this series) I have spent an inordinately long time performing open surgery on my laptop. This means dismantling it, fiddling about with the motherboard, poking things and attempting to burrow my way towards the fan which is so clogged up with dust and grime and whatnot that it keep making the computer blackout and reboot when I am trying to waste my time in less educational pastimes like killing undead beasts on guildwars.


In the past hour I have learned why magnetic screwdrivers are the tools of the gods, that fighting a chainsaw and fending off a BBQ doesn't necessarily lead to exciting discoveries and also why I should never be let alone in a house where such things are within arm's reach.

The problem now is that I feel like a legitimate computer technician and wish to become one of those people, who pimps their laptop and upgrades their harddrive and gaming chips. Somebody help me?

Revelation~

In the past week or so, physics has repeatedly blown my mind. It's been like a massive, sudden destiny-driven speight of learning facilitated by a combination of a gift, a purchase, a brainwave and a moment's coincidental scanning of the Sky TV listings.

At risk of going on about how 2011 is a year of change in my life, not simply because of inevitabilities such as Uni, but also because of my determination to approach things from a Zen perspective, this year has already given me so much more reason for positivity than last year.

My good chum Anna (who I mention a lot, and who is possibly my lone reader) and I had a (mildly pissed) discussion about how, at this age, things start making sense, and I can say from experience of the past month or so, that this truly is the case.

Time (the relativity of which I have recently got my head around) makes more sense - I am becoming more organised. Writing and language (which my wrestle with my portfolio has increasingly unveiled) is logical and sensible and not at all as complicated as I have, until recently, tried to make it. And all the weird and wonderful mysteries of the universe are much more exciting, as though my brain has been in an eight-year car-wash and now emerged sparkling, fresh and raring to go.

The past month (though it is not the end of the month, so I oughtn't to be summarising) has seen me forcing improved public confidence, exploring new philosophical ideas, meeting new people, embracing adultular responsibilities and somehow coming to terms with the fact that, actually, maths isn't as bad as all that. I have, however, had little success in doing mornings (but let's not run before we can walk, eh?)

I have a mug which explains, in the words of Oscar Wilde: 'Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.' This is entirely true - but does not count if breakfast is taken after 11am.

I have just had a phonecall from my Granny and, despite knowing she wasn't actually calling to talk to me, we had a good chat about how exciting the world is, and how yes, I can borrow her books about atomic theory. Just when I thought it was impossible to be more of a nerd, it's snuck up on me like a hungry bear.

And you cannot understand how hard it was not to allude to Shakespeare there; such urges prove my point.

In any case, life is an exciting ball of quarks, gluons and bits of invisible fluff, and long may it remain so!

The Laptop Blues (A Ballad.)

Woke up this morning, cheery as can be,

Opened my laptop and it snapped off at me,

Bits of wires and metal and screws,

I need a new laptop 'n' it's giving me the blues.

Hoo, hoo, hoo, the snaptop blues.

Hoo, hoo, hoo, the craptop blues.

Googling on the web, looking through shops,

Tryin' to find out if anywhere sells good laptops,

Not too pricey, or cheap, this is hard to do,

Can't find a good laptop that I can afford, too-hoo-hoo

(The laptop blues)

(The craptop blues)

(It's snapped, boo-hoo)

Got me some money from the kindle I sold,

Maybe now I can get a laptop that's not old,

Huntin' for cash down the side of the bed,

Ain't enough money even to buy some bread.

Ooh-hooo!

The Laptop Blues!

Ooh-hooo!

Gonna try searchin' Yahoo's!

Well it's five days till Christmas, and I'm starting to wish,

I'd not asked for a new HiFi, or a special Poole dish,

Because I need something more in the computery vein,

Don't wanna have a HiFi and need to save up again...

Ooo-hoo!

Dell, Fuck you!

You-Do!

Need to learn to manufacture quality computers!

Ooooooooh!

(la la la)

Oooooooo-oooh!

(la la la)

I's got the laptop, snaptop, shut-your-traptop, absolutely crap-top blues!

(yeah.)