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Showing posts with label sprachen sie deutsch?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sprachen sie deutsch?. Show all posts

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Der Hund ist harmlos! Die Wirtin liebst den Kuche...

are both examples of my increasing, but still mediocre German. But that is not why I am here, I am here to explain to you something of the banter I share with my padre, as it gives me immense amusement, always.

Let us take, for example, yesterday night at Parent's Evening. Even talking about that makes me feel stupidly young and foolish, 'Parent's Evening' is something children have and, though I have been free of the concept (forever!) for about 24 hours, I already feel liberated and mature. In any case, enjoy this conversation:

The following is a rough paraphrasing of what occurred, as my memory isn't spectacular. Waiting for an appointment with the spectacularly verbose presence of Mr Anderson stand two parentfolk and their singular spawn (let's call her Rachel to avoid her being confused with tadpoles):

Rachel: Hey, Dee, I like your jumper, how much was it?
Dee: Not a lot.
Rachel: I bet you were fleeced.
Dee: [sideways looking] Don't be sheepish.
Rachel: After this, can we go to a bar?
Dee: Don't take this further afield.
Rachel: Best to keep it out of farm's way. What's the time? [whips out the old pocket watch to check]
Dee: Now you're just winding me up.
Rachel: That was bad, I can't even face you.
Dee: Well, that's handy.
Rachel: Don't try and fob me off with that.
Dee: I think we ought to break this chain, now...
Mim: What..?


:) Great times.

Whats-more, it's due to snow some time in the near future - hurrah!

Sunday, 10 October 2010

Entschuldigung, ich verstehe nur ein bisschen Deutsch!

Not entirely sure if I managed to spell the title right, because German language CDs don't actually tell you how to spell things - damn them! I am, however, learning! :D

In any case, I am here to tell you the story of mine and my dad's venture to Tesco's today.

[In the Fruit Section]
Him: (groping a bag of tomatoes to check their freshitude) What have you got?
Me: Baking Powder, why do I always come back to find you groping something.
Him: ...scrotum?
Me: Go away.

----

[In the Meat Section]
Me: What are your views on sausage?
Him: (as per 'Allo, 'Allo) A lovely, little sosij?
Me: A German one.
Him: Oh.

---

[In the dry-food-reduced-area]
Me: Oh my god, oh my GOD. D: Eugh.
Him: What?
Me: THAT. [points to a defrosted, OPEN packet of suppurating muscle meaty bits]
Him: [PICKS IT UP] What? Wait... is this- OH GOD IT'S LEAKING ON ME.
[collective running away]

---

[In the tea section]
Me: HEY, HEY - THIS.
Him: You don't need any mo-
Me: Look at THIS. It is HAND-ROLLED into PEARLS. It is the Stephen Fry of tea.

---

[On the way out]
Me: [drops a box]
Him: FAIL. [drives the trolley straight into a telephone]
Me: ...you were saying?