Entschuldigung, ich verstehe nur ein bisschen Deutsch!

Not entirely sure if I managed to spell the title right, because German language CDs don't actually tell you how to spell things - damn them! I am, however, learning! :D

In any case, I am here to tell you the story of mine and my dad's venture to Tesco's today.

[In the Fruit Section]

Him: (groping a bag of tomatoes to check their freshitude) What have you got?

Me: Baking Powder, why do I always come back to find you groping something.

Him: ...scrotum?

Me: Go away.

----

[In the Meat Section]

Me: What are your views on sausage?

Him: (as per 'Allo, 'Allo) A lovely, little sosij?

Me: A German one.

Him: Oh.

---

[In the dry-food-reduced-area]

Me: Oh my god, oh my GOD. D: Eugh.

Him: What?

Me: THAT. [points to a defrosted, OPEN packet of suppurating muscle meaty bits]

Him: [PICKS IT UP] What? Wait... is this- OH GOD IT'S LEAKING ON ME.

[collective running away]

---

[In the tea section]

Me: HEY, HEY - THIS.

Him: You don't need any mo-

Me: Look at THIS. It is HAND-ROLLED into PEARLS. It is the Stephen Fry of tea.

---

[On the way out]

Me: [drops a box]

Him: FAIL. [drives the trolley straight into a telephone]

Me: ...you were saying?